the “I Didn’t sign up for this shit” protagonist

By Ameerah Mahajan

The wind howled in my ears and I gripped my ill-fitting trench coat, pulling it tighter around my body. Nuzzling my nose into my scarf, I tided through by thinking of the warmth of a crackling fire and hot cocoa that lay in wait for me at home.

Then suddenly, I heard a low noise. It sounded a bit like a whimper and immediately groaned.

“No.”

“Please no.”

“Anything but this right now”

Thoughts raced through my mind as my heartbeat quickened. On one hand, it was freezing and I really wasn’t planning on having a stupid kid getting screwed over at eleven in the night. On the other hand, my consciousness would weigh down on me like a sack of potatoes for the next month if I didn’t check up at the very least.

Then suddenly, the whimpers stopped and I let out a breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding in.

“Thank the God almighty, for he has spared me this one-time”

I began to walk again, this time faster still. I may be strong and I may have superhuman strength, but I was walking through the dingy streets of some of the shadiest alleys in New York. Besides, if I had to pick between hot cocoa and breaking a creep’s nose, I’m not exactly the biggest fan of the latter.

Then suddenly I picked up another sound, it sounded like muffled screams and…moaning?

Oh, my dear god.

“One normal day, one normal damn day is all I ask for the love of everything sweet and cheesy…” is all that ran through my mind as in a flash I began to race back to the alley I had just crossed. I stopped for a minute and focused intently. The sounds grew louder as I ventured further into the alley.

It was dingy and disgusting to say the least. You could see slimy mold covering the walls and a stink nearly unbearable, enhanced due my heightened senses. I could easily hear the noises now and I cautiously ventured further into the alley.

In spite of the dark, I managed to use the flickering light of the street-lamp to my advantage as best as I could. I saw three men- no wait, boys; standing around a young teenage girl. Her clothing was either torn or stripped away from her completely and I noticed bruises marking her body as her lower lip bled, splattering the cracked pavement like paint on a canvas.

The boys encircled her and began closing in, just like vultures hunting for prey. They were large and coarse, with rough hands and an obvious greed for lust. The girl was trying to say something. I focused as much as I could and attempted to decipher her words, though God knows it was bloody difficult through all of those tears and hiccups.

She simply begged “Dean, please this isn’t what I wanted. Please, let me go I don’t want to do this.”

This fool.

I had had just about enough of this idiocy by this time and didn’t hesitate to crawl out of my hiding spot behind the trash cans. And gave the girl a sceptical look.

“Really?”

The girl looked at me quizzically then started begging for help, Jesus Christ I hate grovelling. She wasn’t easing my patience any more, if she let out as much as another squeak the boys wouldn’t be the only ones ending up hurt. I shot her a cold, icy glare and took some satisfaction in seeing fear flicker across her eyes before moving on.

I went up to the biggest boy and asked. “And what exactly do you think you’re doing? I believe she said no.”

He stared at me confused, then angry and then? He grinned. He ran his leery eyes over my body and took a step forward not hesitant in being direct about what he wanted, and what he’d take if I refused.

I stood and felt bored. How many more times until the men learn. Honestly, it’s the biggest pain in the ass ever. “Back up bucko.” I said. “Or there will be trouble.” He simply grinned and ran his stocky fingers up my legs. “Come on darlin’, let us show you a good time”.

I sighed.

Men, they never learn. And now all dreams of cocoa and warm sizzling fires went poof. I was going to murder this block-headed girl when I was done.

I started by aiming for his groin, but he was surprisingly fast and I only managed to get his inner thigh. Still, it was an impactful blow and I’m pretty sure it was going to bruise by tomorrow.

His face turned an ugly red, splotchy with anger and he raised his fist ready to punch me.

Men. Never. Learn.

In a heartbeat, I was on him and pinning him to the ground. I felt a wind behind my ears and realized his two friends were behind me. Considering they hadn’t attacked me yet, I assumed they were still sizing me up as a threat. Boy, was I going to show them. I backhanded and slapped the big guy’s head so that it hit the concrete, I heard a satisfying crack and hoped it was his nose. I may be violent but I certainly don’t want another dead body on my hands; I felt him go limp but I could hear him breathing so I assumed he’d simply passed out.

Getting off him, I turned around and looked at his friends. They looked suitably threatened but not enough to run away. They’d gotten a good target and wanted to finish the job.

I aimed for the blondie and thankfully, unlike his friend he wasn’t as good at dodging my blows. I landed a nice, clean hit and the guy doubled up in pain as he clutched his groin. The last boy seemed to be the youngest of the three, he wasn’t more than 15 maybe and I could see his trembling knees. I shot him a sharp glare and he didn’t hesitate in turning around immediately and running away.

Then, I turned my attention to the stunned girl. She began to say something but I immediately cut her off.

“Thank y- “

“No”

“But I just wanted t- “

“No”

“Bu- “

“Yeah No. Listen, I saved your life great. I really didn’t want to but I have the damndest thing called a conscience and it would’ve screwed me over if I hadn’t done anything. So next time, maybe don’t be an idiot and take protective measures. You shouldn’t have to but that’s the way it is okay? I mean I was really looking forward to cocoa and a warm fire, but now I’m muddy and smell like piss. Now, how far away do you live?”

The girl stared at me, her eyes wide in shock and I mentally begged her to say something because I was already pretty annoyed at this little shit and if she didn’t make this any easier for me, I was on the verge of hanging her upside down off of the top of that building.

My train of thought was disrupted when her small voice quietly said “a block.”.

I must’ve looked confused because she suddenly spoke up a bit louder.

“A block, I live a block away”

“Oh.” I replied, my voice softening. “You think you’ll make it home okay?”

She looked scared for a minute but then tentatively reached for her crumpled jeans lying in a corner next to her and began wearing them. I cringed after seeing where they had been lying but hey, beggars can’t be choosers.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be okay.”

I nodded my head in brief acknowledgement and began walking back. Then suddenly the image of her near ripped shirt entered my head and after heavy consideration… I threw my oversized trench coat at her.

“To cover up…” I said quietly. Then snapped back and quipped “Because I sure as hell am not coming back a second time to save your dumb ass.”

She widened her eyes for a minute but then walked and grabbed the trench coat. I rapidly turned around and started walking away unsure of why I did what I did. I felt a blush cover my cheeks but dismissed it as an effect of the cold. I turned around one last time and the mild blush turned beetroot red when I noticed she was staring back at me.

I immediately turned my head around and started walking faster, but not before I saw a playful grin flicker across the girl’s face.

Suddenly angry, I began walking faster and silently cursed that stupid, gorgeous, adorable chick. Who did she think she was huh?

Then I thought of her smile.

And things seemed to feel a little warmer.

The End.